Hypertexan

Hypertexan is an English-inspired conlang which exaggerates the more peculiar features of English's Australian and Texan dialects.

It's also an excuse to absolutely mutilate English beyond recognition, including influences that really shouldn't influence it.

Grammar
Hypertexan can have either an SVO or SOV word order.

In Hypertexan, unlike the language it is based off of, adjectives go after nouns instead of before.

The language also uses modified versions of Japanese honorifics and phrases, except they're used in the completely wrong ways. (for example: "ara ara" is used to express lust instead of shock, and honorifics are always used (for names, though).)

Nouns are also gendered, with the -o suffix marking a noun as masculine, and a -y suffix marking a noun as feminine, and a -am suffix marking a word as neuter.

Ending a word with n' also makes it neuter.

The word for "is" also does not change depending on plurality.

Also sometimes rules will have random exceptions for no reason (this is to make it resemble English more).

Phonotactics
Words cannot start with the -gn sound

Words with Q are usually based off English words which had Q in them, since the letter Q is pretty much extinct in Hypertexan.

Changes From English
/e/ is now pronounced as /a/

/r/ is now /j/

/ɛr/ and /ir/ are now always written as

/k/ and /ʧ/ are now always written as 

X is now always written as and pronounced as so

All sounds similar to /ʌ/ are always written as 

/ʃ/, /ʤ/, and /d/ are now /t/

/ŋ/ is spelt as 

/b/ is now /p/

/u/ is always spelt as 

/x/ is now /h/

/v/ is now /f/

Punctuation
The Hypertexan punctuation is quite similar to that of English, but with some minor adjustments.

Here's a basic explanation of the punctuation:


 * Intairopagno /ɪntɛropaŋo/ (‽): Basically replaces ?!
 * Ecsluhmatin' /akslʌmeɪtɪn/ (!): Expresses strong emotion
 * Intairy /ɪntɛri/ (?): Expresses confusion
 * Pairyito /pɛrijito/ (.): The standard way to end a sentence
 * Tasy /tasi/ (-): used to divide up sections of a sentence

Honorifics
-san /sæn/ means "sir" or "mister"

-can /ʧæn/ is used for little girls

-coom /kum/ is used for women, boats, or bears

There is no honorific for little boys

Words
Pacanan' /pacænɪn/ = beginning

Inta (or intah) /ɪnta/ = in the, intra

Cawto /cɒto/ = god

Make /meɪk/ = make, create, release

Posta (or post when it is a prefix) /posta/ = after, afterwards

Fifo /fifo/ = life

-D /d/ = past-tense prefix

hi /haɪ/ = hello, high, of the sky

an /æn/ = and

mooly /muli/ = earth

Examples
In the beginning god created the heavens and the earth

Inta pacanan' - kawtosan maked hipostfifo an mooly