Kay(f)bop(t)

Notice
This page uses info from the video below.

What is Kay(f)bop(t)
Kay(f)bop(t), or Kay(f)dan(f)san(t)ap(t)vlir(t)sang(b)es(p)u(t)vom(b)ngag(t)vlim(p)kay(f)sna(f)kay(f)ga(f) Bop(t)veg(p)daf(f)shof(b)*om(p)vlim(p)ga(f)vlim(p)ga(f), is a constructed language by conlanger Daniel Swanson on his WordPress blog CrazyNinjaGeeks. The full name means "limited, expected, inedible, undying, epic language worth less than $10, which is far less (or more) useful than the average usefulness of things in this category". The conlang is several jokes from the Bad Conlanging Ideas Tumblr Blog, plus some original jokes, thrown into a single conlang.

Orthography
酶 is only used in 酶(p) meaning "null". The other han characters are only used in z瑟g(f)陛蒲(f)z瑟g(t)陛a(f) meaning "a type of lover who works hard to fit in with your life, because they love you so much and are willing to put in effort to make your relationship work". Yea that's weird.

Grammar
Simple Kay(f)bop(t) words are usually really long and its mainly because the suffix system. It's kind of like Ithkuil except it's mandatory and simultaneously more specific and less precise. Nouns have to be conjugated by case, number, expectation, edibility, grammatical gender, manner of death, awesomeness, and market value. Verbs have to be conjugated by number, expectation, mental state, day of the week, honesty and subject magnitude relative to that of a breadbox, awesomeness, and certainty. These aren't optional. Every noun ends with 9 suffixes and every verb ends with 7 suffixes.

Vocabulary
You might think Kay(f)bop(t) goes for maximum precision, but then you look at the vocabulary, a Kay(f)bop(t) root can have up to and including 18 distinct, unrelated meanings. As an example, bes(b)baf(t)let(p)gob(b) can mean, hatter, terminology, journalese, grasslike, unrevenged, alphabetization, misty, heal, althea, detain, edict, rehash, guzzler, thalassemia, ergot, humilia, raceabout, and epanchement. This combined with the suffix system basically means interpreting a Kay(f)bop(t) word is kind of like a game of Twenty Questions, right down to the "animal / vegetable / mineral" type noun classes and the conjugation based on size relative to a breadbox. Just like in Twenty Questions, this still might not be enough information in some cases, to the extent that some entire chunks of text can mean multiple, distinct, equally valid things, with no way to know which one it is other than context. Very impressively, one particular phrase may be interpreted as either "All of humanity had one language. They moved from the east to a plain in Shinar, and set up things for long term residence." or "We are not strangers to love. You know the rules. I know the rules. I'm thinking of an entire commitment. You would not get this from a different guy." That is an impressive amount of dedication right there. This isn't even the whole thing! There is a video available where Swanson reads the entirety of the passage and it's almost 40 minutes long.

Is it good?
Kay(f)bop(t) set out to be a bad conlang, In the original video Jan said it's the best possible type of bad conlang. It's so bad it's good basically. Well, that ends off this page.