Batavian

Batavian, also known as Bachtish or, historically, Lower Batavian, is a West Germanic language spoken by roughly 2 million people as a first language and 500,000 as a second language, primarily in the Federal Republic of Batavia, southern areas of the Netherlands, and northwestern Germany.

Northern Dialect
Associated with Endhoven (Eindhoven) and Hellmúd (Helmond) rural areas

Southern Dialect
Associated with Mesträicht (Maastricht) and Eachen (Aachen)

Southwestern Dialect
Associated with Liek (Liège) and Äspe (Spa)

Intercity North
Associated with downtown, impoverished areas of Endhoven (Eindhoven) and Hellmúd (Helmond)

Orthographic conventions
YCCy, but Ccijcc (e.g., yzen "iron", but tijd "time")

ÚC and CúC, but Coe (e.g., szút "punchline", but voe "how")

Vy, but ViC (e.g., säy "sea", but lüig "lie, falsehood"), though there are a few exceptions (e.g., aai "egg")

Nouns
Bachtish nouns are separated into three genders: masculine, feminine, and neuter. This is maintained mostly in archaisms and in explaining some irregularities in modern parlance. Today, the only grammatical function is demonstrated by the combination of masculine and feminine into a "common" gender and the neuter gender, though even this is falling out of favor in colloquial Bachtish, particularly in the southwestern region.

a-stem
Masculine a-stem nouns follow regular, weak declension patterns; neuter a-stem nouns normally follow an indeterminate plural, but internal vowel mutation is also present; CVVC → CVCe plural, CVVCs genitive.

ja-stem
The ja-stem is functionally identical to the a-stem, with a general trend towards umlauting stems but not alternation.

ōn-stem
Exclusively feminine, ōn-stem nouns are identical to a-stem nouns, except that their genitive forms are -e, not -s

Consonant stem
Consonant stems generally pluralize and genitivize with vowel alteration and or palatalization. Predominately masculine or feminine, but neuter consonant stems do exist.

i-stem
i-stem nouns are identical to ōn-stem nouns in function and form, except that i-stem nouns can be masculine and neuter, though the former is more common.

an-stem
Masculine an-stem nouns have, CVVC to CVCen plural and a genitive form with umlaut and -en. Neuter an-stems follow the same pattern, except the plural is -e only. The long-o in the nominative is unlikely in Pre-Old Bachtish.

īn-stem
Exclusively feminine, īn-stem nouns do not have any plurals, but their genitives are -en.

ō-stem
Exclusively feminine, ō-stem nouns show a final -e and sometimes vowel mutation in plural, and no mutation or suffix in the genitive.

u-stem
Both masculine and feminine u-stem nouns show vowel alternation in the stem or no change at all and the genitive is marked with a -e suffix. PWGmc suggests -iwi in the nominative plural, but this was likely reduced to -i in Pre-Old Bachtish. Rarely, u-stem nouns were neuter, but they usually assimilate to masculine or feminine (e.g., *fehu → föch "livestock" was originally neuter, but is now masculine).

Umlaut
Umlauting processes in Batavian are regular and easily derivable in most circumstances.

Class 1
Class 1 strong verbs demonstrate a historical -ī- in their root vowel, which does not cause palatalization in the past tense. A short vowel is present in the past participle.

Class 2
Class 2 strong verbs demonstrate a historical -eu- or -ū- in their root vowel. A short vowel is present in the past participle.

Class 3
Class 3 strong verbs demonstrate a historical short -i- or -e- in their root vowel followed by two consonants or one geminate. A short vowel is present in the past participle.

Class 4
Class 4 strong verbs demonstrate a historical short -e- in their root vowel. A short vowel is present in the past participle.

Class 5
Class 5 strong verbs demonstrate a historical short -e- in their root vowel. A medium vowel is present in the past participle.

Class 6
Class 6 strong verbs demonstrate a historical short -a- in their root vowel. A medium vowel is present in the past participle.

Class 7a
-ai-

Class 7b, 7d, & 7e
-au-

Class 7d
-ā-

Class 7e
-ō-

Syntax
Do köune gewent him räuczen cigarette im café plechen te fijnden. "You can usually find him smoking cigarettes in the café."

Pronouns
1 Daams is considered to be incorrect in most circles; it is akin to Inland North/Pennsylvania youse, yinz. Nevertheless, it remains common in everyday parlance, especially rural speech.

Chemical elements
If the chemical is missing, it is identical to the English.

"Your Jowls Bring Me Joy" (~1455)
Written in the margin of a commentary of on 1 Corinthians by a monk at a Franciscan monastery outside Aachen initialed T.d.B. The monk was writing about a dog that had been adopted by the monastery, whom they had named "Basilius".

Däidkolm ("Regret", 1957)
Batavia is well-known for its art films, especially short ones. One of its most famous is Däidkolm, a story about a member of the Batavian resistance who discovers years later that he killed his best friend's brother during the war. The term däidkolm is often translated into English as "regret", though the literal translation is "deed nausea" and was largely popularized by this film as a more constrained form of bedrieren, the usual term for "regret". In the first scene, the main character, Aalf, meets his best friend, Gierig, after many years apart at a bar in their hometown, Gräfloch, on the German border (German: Grefrath). Writer and director Thoam Yzenhäuer, whose own mother was German and father Batavian, wrote the characters to reflect the moral ambiguity of the era; Aalf was a part of the Batavian resistance against the Nazi occupation, but treats the barmaid poorly and acts boorishly, while Gierig is respectful and conservative, but seeks reconciliation with the German people.

"A Story about my Grandfather" (1984)
This story was transcribed from a 1984 recording of World War I veteran and then-pensioner Lazaar Vandack (1894-1988), telling a story about his grandfather, Gaart Vandack (1824-1912).